We all have our idols as a kid and most of us consider our parents to be them. I never in my six years of living at the time thought my idol would be gone.
My mother was one of the most amazing woman I have ever crossed paths with. She was so loving and had so much patience with anyone including her kids. She was always thinking for everyone before herself and she never gave up on her commitments. It was rough growing up watching her cry and wait around for her husband who would never show. But that women never gave up even though everyone tried to convince her. Today I idolize her for her strength and commitments and want to be a greater woman because of her.
I feel like God was there for my mom throughout the end of her life. Most of the time she would get sick and be gone for months in the hospital. I always thought it was a punishment for my dad to realize he’s gonna lose her If he didn’t straighten out. He never learned at the time and I felt that he took her for that reason. My dad was never gonna respect her if he kept her around.
On January 13 2000, just five days before my birthday my mom was gone due to a blood vessel bursting in her brain. This was one of the first things in my life that forced me to be a stronger and mature woman at such an early age. I do feel like the pain of losing her so young wasn’t as strong as if would have been today. I was too young to really understand. But growing up without her was one rough thing to go through. I had to become the mother of the house and learn how to cook for a family of 4. My brother did all the bills up until he was out of the house then it was my turn and eventually my baby sister took over. It was like we were already adults and we couldn’t be kids like we hoped. My dad did his best to raise us and give us more then what he should of.
No one thinks about all the main events in ones life and realize oh that person won’t be there. But I did and that was the pain I dealt with throughout my life. She never got to help me learn about my body, or see me graduate both high school or college. There will also be that one empty chair at my wedding. Most people never think about that but I do everyday. I always wonder what if she was there would it be different? I don’t know but I do know that I want to do better for her and because of her I want other woman to encourage each other rather then bring each other down.
I want to bring woman up and show them that they can be great like my mother was. There is no reason for us to bring others down it only creates hatred in the world. My idol showed me that not everyone will appreciate you but you can always do right and it will reward you in the end.